What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2) Read online

  The second thing he knew was that the pain he felt from losing Katie the way he did was just as raw and fresh as it had been three months ago. Without that kind of immeasurable pain to eat away at his emotions and burn a ragged hole through his heart, he never would have been able to sing the song he had just recorded with as much truthfulness and emotional upheaval as he had. Hell, he probably never would have dreamed of recording such a song before he’d left Nashville. There were some songs that were so deeply rooted in a singer’s own personal demons, that no one else would be able to possibly convey the agony and self-destruction that led to such words being paired with a melody.

  “What the hell happened to you in Canada?” Barry had remarked on the day Chad had sat down and performed an acoustic version of the song for him to hear. Chad could tell he was half joking, the raised corner of his mouth giving him away. Chad arched an eyebrow at him anyway, and Barry responded by raising his hands in mock surrender. “I’m not complaining, trust me,” he added, a full-fledged smile taking over his features. “The music you’re cranking out is amazing, Chad. It’s deeper, for lack of a better word. But, you—I don’t know how to say it. You’re still you, but you’re not...you.” Chad scoffed quietly at that, reaching out to lean his acoustic guitar back into the stand. He couldn’t bring himself to answer the question, but he had a feeling his manager didn’t expect him to.

  If only Barry knew just how right he was. Chad wasn’t himself anymore—at least not the same man he’d been prior to walking away from the life he’d once known in Nashville.

  Maybe he never would be again.

  CHAPTER THREE

  KATIE

  Katie heard Jay come home from work before she actually saw him. She hadn’t yet grown accustomed to leaving the door unlocked while he was away during the day, still uncomfortable with the city life. Even at the farm, she had been sure to lock the door at night, and before she left for any extended length of time. She could hear the shuffling as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, cursing as he tried one key and then another. Katie bit back a smirk as she crossed the room and turned the deadbolt, pulling the door open to come face to face with Jay’s flustered expression as he balanced multiple bags and boxes in his arms, and his fingers tangled in a jumble of keys. However, the crease in his forehead quickly disappeared at the sight of her, his face breaking out in a wide smile.

  “Thanks, I was just about to give up and sit down here in the hallway until you got worried and came looking for me,” he chuckled.

  “I figured I’d better do something quick, before your colorful language started to concern the neighbors.” Katie stepped back to let him and his baggage pass, offering him a joking grin in return. She closed the door once he was in, fighting the urge to relock it. Instead, she followed Jay through the open living area into the kitchen, returning to the bar stool she had been perched on before his arrival, the hot mug of coffee she’d made still on the kitchen island billowing steam into the air. She eyed the bags he’d brought home as she took a sip from the mug, curling her nose up as the liquid burned her lips, and setting it back down again to cool. Jay had bought things—multiple things—and he wasn’t exactly an avid shopper, which usually meant he had some big idea he was going to try to convince her to go along with, or he had done something that required an apology. Either way, she raised her eyebrows dubiously at him.

  “What’s with all the retail therapy?” she asked, trying to keep her tone lighthearted. The last thing they needed was another argument or conversation that resulted in her asking him to stop pushing his plans on her.

  Jay stopped rustling through the bags. He squared his shoulders as he turned his attention to her, his hands splayed before him on the countertop as though to steady his balance. “I have an idea, Katie.”

  What a shocker, Katie thought, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. Give the guy a chance. “Why does that worry me?” she retorted instead.

  “Christmas holidays. Mason gets two weeks off from school for the Christmas holidays already, so let’s pull him out for an additional week, and then the three of us can spend three solid weeks together. No sprinting back and forth across the border, just a real family Christmas. Let’s do it, Katie.” He was practically vibrating with enthusiasm as he spoke, and Katie chuckled absently at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but realized she couldn’t think of a good reason right off hand why it was a bad idea. She quickly closed her mouth again.

  It was his turn to laugh at her. She was rarely speechless. “See? Even you, queen of all things logical and overanalyzed, can’t come up with a way to turn me down! Katie, it will be great. We’ll get a tree, and we can go shopping for Mason’s gifts together, and—”

  “The farm can’t be left alone in the dead of a Canadian winter like that. I’m sorry.” She said it softly, not wanting to crush the excitement radiating from him. He deflated almost immediately, exhaling sadly.

  “It always comes back to that place. Is there—”

  Katie held up her hands. “Don’t tell me to sell it, Jay. I’m not listening to that again.”

  Jay cocked his head to the side, motioning for her to bring her defensiveness down a notch. “That’s not what I was going to say. What I was trying to say was, is there any way that we can hire someone to keep an eye on the house or something? Just for a few weeks?”

  They both grew silent. Time seemed to stand still with the lack of movement and sound between them. Faintly, Katie could hear Mason talking to himself as he played in his bedroom down the hall. He must be completely enthralled within his imagination not to have heard Jay come home. That was probably a good thing, because she was sure she wouldn’t be able to fend them both off if her son got wind of this idea. “Even if I could, the house isn’t prepared to withstand winter for any length of time. I would need to go back to get it ready. I can’t put that on someone else.”

  “So, you’re saying that if you were able to make a quick trip back to the farm you could get it all prepared to be left unattended for three weeks, and arrange for someone else to step in and check on things for you while you and Mason are here for the Christmas holidays?”

  Katie held his gaze. Was that what she was saying? Did she really want to stay here for that length of time with him? Did she want to give Mason that kind of opportunity, to really see his dad, and to spend the entire holiday season with him? When it came down to it, she did. Katie couldn’t deny the appeal of not having to keep up with the constant travelling schedule she had been maintaining. She welcomed the notion of not having to keep her bags packed, and not having to tear Mason away from Jay each time they left again for another five days.

  “You would be willing to take time off from work?” Katie asked.

  “I can book days off sporadically throughout those weeks so we can all spend time together,” he offered. “I will not sit here and say I can stay home the entire time, but I will be here as much as I can be, and definitely on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.” He nodded as though making a promise to her.

  His words were surprising to Katie, and she’d be lying if she said she believed he would be so accommodating. Jay’s work had always been first and foremost for him, and he made sure that what needed to be done within the walls of his office was done before anything else—family, friends, or time away—could be contemplated.

  “Besides, you’re probably going to want the odd day away from me. You like your space, and I can appreciate that,” he added, grinning ruefully.

  “You’re making it sound like I am always trying to get away from you.”

  “Maybe you’ll want to after three weeks of being here, but at least then we’ll know.” His smile never faltered, and Katie could see the accomplishment written on his face. He knew he had her, and that she was going to agree.

  She sighed, shaking her head. “All right, Jay, here’s the deal. If I can go back to Canada for a few days to get the house set up—you know, stuff like the hot water tank, the
water pipes, the heaters, and blah, blah, blah—and if I can convince Ed Johnson down the road to look in on the place while Mason and I are here, and if I can count on you to be here enough that Mason won’t end up feeling like he is just always waiting for you to get home, then I guess it looks like we are all spending Christmas together.”

  Jay let out a holler, slapping his hand down on the counter in triumph. In seconds, he was around the island and holding Katie tightly. She squealed laughingly when her feet left the ground as he spun her around. He had just set her back down on the floor when Katie recognized the sound of Mason’s little footsteps coming down the hallway.

  “Please, just do not let him down, okay?” Katie whispered, locking eyes with Jay. He’d heard Mason coming to see what was going on, too.

  “I promise, Katie. I’ll be here for him this Christmas.” He turned to face Mason’s confused gaze just as the boy rounded the corner into the kitchen.

  “I didn’t know you were home, Dad!”

  “Just getting in the door, I swear. How was your day?” Jay stooped to chat at eye level with his son, ruffling his hair playfully. Immediately, Mason attempted to smooth his unruly hair.

  “Boring. There’s nothing to do here.”

  “Oh, Mase, there is so much to do here! Get your Mom to take you around the city tomorrow and check it all out. You won’t be bored, I guarantee it.” Jay glanced over at Katie, but she held her hands up. She didn’t know what he wanted her to do.

  “I don’t have a clue where to go here. You forget, I’ve never lived here before.”

  “You can take us out tomorrow then, Dad, and show us some stuff!” Mason exclaimed, and Katie saw the anticipation highlighting his eyes.

  “I have got to go to work again tomorrow, pal. I’m sorry.” Jay held up a finger in pause, and Katie knew he was scrambling for a way to make the situation better. She would be as well if Mason were looking at her so dejectedly. “How about we spend tonight showing your Mom how to work that cell phone we got her so she can easily look up all the cool sites that are close by? That way you guys can make a list of them, and then plan to go check them out next time you are bored stiff.” Jay ducked his head to catch a glimpse of Mason’s eyes, seeking confirmation that he had moved beyond his bout of sadness. Sure enough, Mason peeked out at him through his messy bangs, the wheels of mischief and imagination turning once again in his overactive mind.

  “Can we find a zoo?” the little boy asked.

  Jay chuckled. “Go grab a pencil and some paper from your room and we will all sit down and create a list of things we can look for in the area, okay? A zoo can definitely be at the top of the list, my boy.”

  Mason cast a wide-eyed glance of sheer happiness at Katie and she offered him a slight nod to get him moving along. She wasn’t keen on figuring out how to stare at a teeny tiny cell phone screen and using it for absolutely everything the way most of the modern population did, but she knew Jay was right, it was a necessary evil, and it would help her and Mason to become more acquainted with their new surroundings.

  When their son had skidded in his sock feet around the corner and down the hallway toward his room, Jay rose to his full height and reached out for Katie. “This is going to be great. I mean it. Thank you for agreeing to this.”

  “There were a lot of ‘ifs’ in my conditions, but I agree with you. If it will work out, I think we’ll all have a nice Christmas here. A little relaxation sounds oddly appealing.” She smiled up at him, letting him wrap his arms around her tightly.

  “It will be a perfect family Christmas. We’ll go all out. More festiveness than you can handle.”

  She nodded against him, glancing toward the hallway. Her eyes rested again on the unpacked bags still sitting on the counter. “So, those shopping bags are...”

  Jay pulled away to beam down at her. “Your outfit for Saturday night.”

  “But I am not going anywhere on Saturday night.”

  “Sure you are. Come with me to that release party I’m attending. I was just going to go make an appearance, but why not use it to celebrate our upcoming holidays? Let me show you off a little bit.” Jay leaned down and kissed the side of her face gently.

  “It is tempting, Jay, but I can’t. Mason will—”

  “Mason can hang out with Julia and her kids in the apartment down the hall. She already said it was okay.”

  Katie crinkled her forehead. He had already made plans for a babysitter? “I don’t know Julia.”

  “Not yet, but I do. Mason will have a blast. Her kids are a little older, but they’re boys and they will keep him entertained. She told us to stay out as late as we wanted.” He lifted his eyebrows suggestively, and Katie scoffed.

  “Well, that was nice of her. But I still don’t—”

  “We can go for an hour and leave if you’re not enjoying it. It’s just an evening out.”

  “I can’t—”

  “One night.”

  “Fine!” Katie laughed. “But I get to meet Julie before we go out on Saturday night.”

  A victorious grin flashed across Jay’s face. “Deal.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAD

  The festivities had not even really begun yet, and already Chad was wishing he could disappear out the back door. Unfortunately, that was really difficult to do when you were the guest of honor.

  His record label had pulled out all the stops in order to promote his new single, mostly—he figured, anyway—in an attempt to make sure the general population knew that Chad Ashton was still around, still making music, and planning a stellar new album, despite the vague speculations that he had suffered from some kind of breakdown and gave up on his career. Those gossip magazines would print anything and call it the truth no matter how little they actually knew about the real situation. Then again, Chad was well aware he had brought those rumors on himself. His publicity team was constantly reminding him that he needed to regain the trust of his fan base and follow up his hit, Take Me Home, with something that would make them all forget the drama and just enjoy the music.

  And Chad knew that was exactly what this new single would accomplish. Crossing That Line was country—something he could picture George Strait singing, and the thought of that made him smile. He knew that singing this twangy, heartfelt song about the boundaries between friendship and love would resonate within most people’s hearts. The lyrics were something pretty much everyone would identify with, and he couldn’t wait until they had a chance to do just that.

  But first he had to make it through this overcrowded, noisy party. Everyone who was anyone on Music Row was here, it seemed. Hell, Chad had been wearing his wide, fake smile for the past forty-five minutes, shaking hands and laughing at jokes told by people whom he either recognized, didn’t know, or probably should know. As quickly as they introduced themselves, he soon forgot each name as it was followed up with the next fleeting introduction. Oh well, that was the way these kinds of functions always were. His only real purpose at this particular one was to sing his song for everyone, say something meaningful to show his gratitude that they’d all came out to celebrate, and then mingle for the remainder of the evening as though he actually wanted to be there, surrounded by a couple hundred of his closest friends.

  That was okay, though. The single would be released on the radio tomorrow, and Chad sincerely hoped listeners would hear it and feel the same way he did when he played the recording back to himself. It would be heard here first though, tonight, when he sang it live for all the attendees of his release party. His nerves were buzzing within him at the thought, but he was excited just the same.

  He was ready. He was prepared for whatever came from the release of the song, good or bad, but his gut was telling him that he had made the right decision in choosing it as the next single. He believed in it, and he had to trust in that. He would bounce back from his hiatus and overcome everything he had been through only months before. He had to believe that, too.

  “Chad, the band
is ready to gear up for the show.” Barry had appeared out of the masses of people around him, his voice a few octaves louder than usual to be heard over the multiple conversations melding together all around him.

  “It’s that time already, is it?” Chad followed his manager’s lead through the different circles of people, doing his best to acknowledge each “Congrats, Chad!” and “There you are!” he heard as he made his way behind the small stage at the far wall of the convention centre. His eyes flickered from one face to the next, his less than genuine smile still plastered across his face. His feet suddenly stopped moving, however, when his gaze landed on a pair of green eyes that he would never be able to erase from his mind.

  “Katie?” The name fell from his lips, though it became lost in the talking and laughter that invaded his senses. He blinked only once, but the crowds had shifted again, obstructing his view of the entrance doors. He craned his neck from one side to the other, ignoring the odd looks he was warranting from those near him, but she was gone.

  Had she been there at all? It was her, he assured himself silently. Based on the width of her eyes and the shock etched on her face, he was sure she had recognized him as well.

  Of course she did, he scolded himself. She’s at a party with your stage name and publicity photo plastered all over the place. It’s impossible she came here by chance. So, what the hell did that mean? If Chad was honest, he’d daydreamed repeatedly about the moment he would see Katie in Nashville for the first time since they’d parted ways the way they had, but he never expected that moment to be now—or here, in front of hundreds of watchful glances. His chest clenched tightly at the thought of being close to her again—though, whether it was from elation or the purest form of fear, he couldn’t be sure.